I mentioned in a post about Cooper's delays and how he had only turned from back to tummy once...well, on Tuesday a light bulb went off and he is flipping over everytime I turn around! God love him though because he rolls to his tummy then gets mad because he wants to be on his back again so we have quite a game going on now! He rolls to his tummy, gets mad, mommy rolls him back to his back, he rolls to his tummy...you get the picture but I will do this all day long because it's progress!

Also, I wanted to add that he did a phenomenal job at therapy yesterday and his PT commented on Cooper using muscles in his trunk that he wasn't using last week...God is great!

I caught a quick video this morning with my new Flip recorder that my hubby gave me yesterday! The sweetie said that he wanted to give me a surprise for being such a good mommy...I love that man!

Rainbow Babies

Every Sunday, our preacher shows a different pic that he has taken on his various travels and today he showed us a picture of a Rainbow Eucalyptus tree (note: this is not his actual pic but a image that I googled to show all of you). The word "rainbow" means so much to me now, much more than before I had my sweet, Cooper...I hear "rainbow" now and I immediately think of a rainbow baby...

To those that aren't a member of the babyloss community (Thank God, if you aren't because this club sucks), a rainbow baby is a baby born after a pregnancy loss or infant death. A rainbow is a symbol of the good things to come after a storm.

I thought of the rainbow babies that I've *seen* born over the last two years. I've watched entire pregnancies unfold before me with women that I've never met in real-life. I've done my happy dance at pregnancy announcements and I've waited with baited breath as I stalked blogs for birth announcements. I've read weekly pregnancy updates and I've prayed when there have been pregnancy concerns. I honestly think of and pray for each and everyone of you as you go through your rainbow baby pregnancies...I adore each rainbow baby in their own unique way and celebrate and oogle over baby photos...

I said a special prayer in church today for those of you that are longing for a rainbow baby, currently pregnant with a rainbow baby, and for those that have been blessed to meet your rainbow baby already. We will always miss our precious ones that were taken home way before we were ready for them to go...and, always wonder why we couldn't have them both (our angel baby and our rainbow baby)...We will always see parts of our angel baby in their brother or sister...I honestly look down at Cooper sometimes and he looks just like Lily...and, at those times, I feel the grace of God because he allows me to see parts of her everyday...

For me, my rainbow baby has given my heart new hope and new love. My heart misses and loves my Lily but I know that I will see her again....which is a promise that I cling to everyday...

Give your rainbow babies a kiss and a hug from me today :)

8 AM blood draw

I had to take Cooper to do his blood draw this morning and my thinking was the earlier the better to get it over with and on with our day...and, MAYBE we would both still be in the mood for our weekly playdate...

Ugh, not so much...I took him to a lab in a local children's hospital thinking that they would be more baby friendly and was delighted when the recepitionist asked me if I would like for Coop to have some numbing cream, I couldn't get "YES" out quick enough. So, they put the numbing cream on both arms and kept the cream in place by two huge stickers. The numbing cream took 30 minutes to be effective so we went back to the waiting room to watch cartoons (me not him ;)) and wait our turn. We finally go back to the room and the tech (I don't actually think she was a nurse) proceeds to RIP off the stickers...now, I know, with some things that it's better to be quick which actually makes it less painful..but, sister did it so ruthlessly that it was all I could do to not RIP her hair out. Cooper proceeded to flip out! He screamed the whole time and I think the numbing cream was an afterthought because the poor baby's arms were bright red from having the stickers ripped off! She didn't even use his other arm (thank goodness) but it took forever for the redness to go away...She drew 7 viles of blood and he screamed the entire time! Again, from the stickers not the actual sticking!

So, needless to say, we are skipping our weekly playgroup today...we came home and I fed him and he is currently in the second hour of a morning nap...poor thing was EXHAUSTED from the screaming which was difficult for me and I was so happy that my hubby came with me because he's good at keeping me in check when my momma bear tendencies creep out!

Now, the official waiting game begins...

Neuro Update

We went to the neurology appointment yesterday and he agrees with the hypotonia diagnosis. So, the next step is getting blood work done (which I have to take him to the hospital for that tomorrow) to rule out any genetic stuff. My hubby is actually adopted so we have no family history on him which would be really helpful right now (oh, how different adoption laws are now!). A MRI will be done in 7 weeks after he gets all of the bloodwork results in and he has time to analyze them because evidentally different genetic tests take longer than others to be completed.

The bright side was that the neuro was very impressed with Cooper's fine motor skills and his cognitive and social skills. His biggest concerns (as are the PT and ped's) is his no trunk balance and his inability to bear weight on his legs. I LOVED this neuro though and so did Coop! This neuro would play him with him like Coop was his grandchild! He's such an awesome doctor!

I'm trying to remain positive and thank you to those that left personal stories of babies that you've known with hypotonia! Each story brought a little more hope to my heart.

Hypotonia

I expected some delays with Cooper being born 9 weeks early and I've gotten used to figuring out his adjusted age milestones. I read my weekly milestone article delivered in my inbox with anticipation and trepidation. It only turned into trepidation over the last couple of months or so though...as I read what he should be doing by his adjusted age and my heart would drop at the realization that he was doing NONE of what babies his (adjusted) age should be doing...


Cooper has a bestfriend that was born on January 5, 2010 so 3 days after Cooper's due date. I was using this friend as kind of a guide as to where Cooper should be...I know kids reach their milestones at different rates but my heart would break as each week I would watch this baby doing cartwheels around Coop. I would tell myself that Coop would just get there eventually...Now, looking back if being honest with myself, Coop has only rolled from tummy to back a handful of times, only rolled from back to tummy once, he is no where in the proximity of sitting up, he bears NO weight on his legs, he doesn't transfer toys from one hand to another...the list goes on and on of our developmental delays...I have a joke that I tell myself "well, there isn't a question on a college application that asks when you starting walking..."

Coop has been going to a physical therapist once a week for a little over a month now. She expressed some concerns to me last week about Cooper being hypotonic which means he has low muscle tone so I immediately made an appointment with his ped being the neurotic, I mean proactive mother that I am...and, he agreed with her diagnosis. He was mostly alarmed at the fact that Cooper won't bear any weight on his legs with his actually comment being "even newborns put up resistance when their feet are placed on the floor...." but Coop just buckles to his knees.

We go to the neurologist this Wednesday to figure out what is causing the hypotonia as the actual diagnosis could mean a variety of things. I've actually stopped looking at the diagnosises for now because I'm going to start having a panic attack...Mostly from what I've read is that hypotonia is normally lumped into two different diagnosises: either Cerebral Palsy if they think the disconnect lies in the brain or Muscular Dystrophy if they think the disconnect lies in the muscles. Again, because the diagnosis of hypotonia just means low muscle tone it could be something small or something big. I'm praying wholeheartedly for the something small as any parent would I imagine...

I do know one thing for certain as a mother with a child that (most likely just waiting on severity) has a disability is that my dreams for him and his life remain the same. I joke with family and friends that I want him to play football for UGA but in all seriousness, I just want him to be happy. It will be my dying goal to achieve that happy for him and teach him to be happy just for the simple fact of being alive.

If you could just pray for the something small diagnosis or better yet (because God can do all things!) that Cooper's body be cured of whatever this is...

So, I want to end this with a picture of my love...of the smile that warms my heart everytime no matter what is going on....

Cooper's first *real* professional pics!

I say *real* because he has been to Se.ars but these were done by a photographer friend of ours about 3 weeks ago. We had so much fun! It was a little rough because Coop only had about a 30 minute nap prior to the photo session (which is why you see some pics where he looks a little peeved!) but overall was a trooper through all of the outfit changes (or lack thereof because some of the pics he went shirtless) and daddy's great idea to make it look like he's mountain climbing on our fireplace!

Sorry, if I've been a little MIA lately we have some things going on right now that have been occupying my mind and I'll write a post up in the next couple of days and elaborate. If you could just keep Coop in your prayers I would be grateful...

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just some pics of Cooper and his antics :)

Cooper's week in review...

Cooper aka "Super Cooper" taking a stroll with mommy

Cooper modeling his new hat from the zoo

Seriously, this kid goes straight to the bottle in the mornings...what a lush ;)

This one is from our monthly photo shoot (he's way more into the props than he used to be)

Cooper playing on the slide, well, actually he's just laying on it but mommy can't miss a photo op!