Thursday, May 19, 2011

Vent post

It's rare that I vent about life. I'm definitely a glass half-full kinda person and I really don't let much get me down. Today, I feel like unloading!

First, it's starting to get on my nerves that people are assuming that Cooper is somehow mentally retarded and that's why he can't walk. Really? My mom went out to visit her family in another state last month and some of these family members are on my fb. While she was there some of them were insinuating that Cooper must have some sort of mental retardation or cerebal palsy or something along those lines. I don't think I have to tell the group reading my blog that if he did have those diagnosises that I WOULD STILL LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY. It's just starting to piss me off when people see that he can't walk and their next question is "how is he cognitively?" and, I'm giving you the nice version of the question that I was asked recently. Why is it that his intelligence must be lower because he can't walk...

Second, advice like "well, my cousin's/my next door neighbor's grandchild/or whoever, didn't walk until they were 17 months" Well meaning, I know, but people don't seem to understand the difference between not being able to STAND and some kid that just couldn't take some steps by themselves. He can't stand alone and he can only stand at the coffee table for minutes at a time BUT those steps are huge for us! Since I'm venting and beware because this is going to sound really, really witchie...I rarely get excited when people talk about their kids first steps because kids are supposed to walk! That's why they have legs! Yes, I know this is milestone envy but like I said, I'm just unloading what I've been carrying around for awhile...

Third, nothing compares to watching your child struggle through something day in and day out. It's emotionally exhausting. Birthday parties hurt. MOPs meetings hurt. The church nursery hurts. Seeing kids his age running across the room hurts. Don't tell me you know how I feel because a sibling/cousin/neice/nephew went through something similar because NOTHING compares to watching YOUR CHILD miss out on things. NOTHING. Don't be condascending with me and your 'sort of' comparative stories. I get these *well-meaning* stories all the time and the next time that I get one, I will smile and say "thank you" but right now on this blog, I just want to scream SHUT THE HELL UP!

Finally, I know that our situation pales in comparsion to those families that are fighting cancer or some other life threantening disease. I thank God everyday that he's healthy otherwise, minus normal preemie stuff like a PDA and a PFO. I cry every time I leave the children's hospital because I've seen the kids on strechers with IV's and no hair. I'm almost crying now because we just came from there this morning. I only have a glimpse into their pain. With that being said, I'm still entitled to hurt, too. I don't need people to give me *advice* that things could always be worse.

Okay, I think I've unloaded enough. If you've made any of these comments to me and you're reading this blog, just know that this is not some passive aggressive swipe! I'm releasing the bad energy from my mind so that I can be the very best mommy to Cooper which is my ONLY concern.


  1. Oh Jen! I am so sorry! I think Cooper is beautiful and perfect!

    I've never experienced what you're going through. I can only relate through all the stupid things people say after you lose a baby. Sometimes people can be really hurtful.

  2. Hi Jen! You are the best Mommy and everything that you say makes sense and not witchie at all!


  3. Oh, Jen. No wonder you are leaving FB. I can't imagine what you and my Son-in-law endure every single day, I know it must be hard and sad, yet inspiring and sweet. You are an amazing mother, and he is a beautiful, smart, amazing boy.

  4. Oh my gracious, JEN! YOU ARE HUMAN!!! I seriously wish we lived closer together because there are days when I'm railing against the world on my blog and I wish I could grab your shoulders, shake you and say "C'mon! Don't you feel the same way!?!" It's refreshing to read this and know your true feelings on your crappy days because you are so put together, so strong, and so positive - which is GREAT but every now and then we need to vent, rant, and bitch and we have the right to do it.

    And, I hear you and I understand as much as my situation will allow me to. You are a wonderful mother and Cooper is amazingly strong and smart and beautiful and he's yours. *hugs* I'll be thinking about you and Super Coop when you're on your internet vacation!! <3