I mentioned a girl, Stephanie, on the hall in my previous post and just wanted to update you on her status and about my current mental status. Stephanie lost one of the twins 2 weeks ago at 20 weeks and she shared some of her story at the support group yesterday. We were all in tears as she explained that she thought her baby was going to be born stillborn but instead when they placed Angel in her arms she took one tiny breath and then died in her arms. Sadly, I found out this morning that Stephanie went into labor today and will be giving birth to her other baby girl today. I'm heartbroken for this family and fearful for my future's family.
I sit here in this bed knowing how precious each day is that Cooper stays in my body. I find myself looking up survival rates for babies as I complete each week. I'm trying so hard to be positive and strong but I'm feeling some fears sneak in, too. I think about the worst happening again and thinking of losing Cooper makes me want to have a panic attack. And, knowing that he is my last chance to have a baby in my body and be a part of his development is weighing on me, too. I just love him so much and I'm scared to lose him...I'm going to go cry now...
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I'm so sorry. I will pray for your comfort.
ReplyDeleteIt's only natural to have fears. ((HUGS))
Jen, *hugs* sending thoughts of peace. I will continue to pray for you and Cooper as you have been in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteTons of prayers from Toronto. Stay strong, girl.... Cooper is a tough little guy.
ReplyDeleteIt would be strange if you WEREN'T afraid.
ReplyDeleteI think about you every day.
I know your scared. Hang in there, Jen. We are all hoping and praying for you and Cooper.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for Stephanie tonight. How many weeks is/was she?
Hang in there Sister! I can just imagine how you must be feeling... take a deep breath and try to relax. We'll pray for Stephanie too but you must try harder to focus on positive things ONLY even if you have to repeat the Words I emailed you. Remember them? Everything is going to be perfect - say it and believe it. Our God is awesome, just cling unto Him. Lots and lots of love and hugs. :)
ReplyDeleteJen, Never commented on a blog before but I felt drawn to yours, fate and some higher power must have brought me here. I lost my DS at 23.5 weeks almost 3 years to today, due to IC, I got pregenant unexpectedly again and had my Christopher at 29 weeks(long hard pregnancy again too) he's now almost 2 years old,... I know that fear you are feeling, and it can be so crippling at times, especially alone in the hospital. No matter how much people tell you to hold onto good thoughts some days it is so hard I know. I honestly can't remember a day of my pregnancy that I wasn't afraid. Just please, you dear soul, keep faith and know we're all with you and your little guy sending you our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletePraying for you & Stephanie!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS))) and prayers..
ReplyDelete