Friday, May 21, 2010

I'm CRAZY...

I want to start going back to church...I haven't been since last August! The timeline includes almost 8 weeks in the hospital for me then there was almost 6 weeks for Cooper and finally the fear of having Cooper enclosed in either a big sanctuary with two to three thousand people or in the nursery during RSV/flu season (for those of you wondering about me taking him to the movies, I've always gone to matinees when the movie has been out for weeks and I've yet to be to at a movie with more than 10 other people)...but, RSV season ended at the beginning of, what's my problems?

The problems is just this...I'm crazy or neurotic take your pick! I question bringing him in the sanctuary with me but I have the fear of him crying during the service. The act of his crying is not a problem for me but I worry about taking anything away from the service for other parishnors. Who has been in a church service and been next to the people with the fidgity and crying baby? I don't want to be those people. So, my next option is the nursery but Cooper has NEVER been left with anyone other than my husband and myself. I talk myself into it but my resolve begins to wither away by Saturday night. You see, it's not that Cooper is some special needs baby by all regards he is very sweet natured and rarely cries/'s solely my fear of leaving him with people.

I miss my church and fortunately for me our church is televised so I haven't missed a church service yet...but, there is something addicting about being in the house of God with other believers...being able to sing praise and lift my hands in worship...

Believe me, I've prayed for less craziness and for trust of the ones working in the nursery...what have you other mommas done to work through leaving your baby with a STRANGER for the first time? My church has about 10 thousand members so chances are that whoever is working in the nursery will be a stranger to me...

See, exhibit A for crazy...


  1. wow, big church! i have the same issues and our church is small....i honestly dont remember having a hard time with my first but now with peighton, i can't do it yet. i think its just me wanting to hold on to her being a "new" baby...she's not but i dont want to go there yet.

    try it once. check on him every 5 minutes if you have to. and if he is unhappy, go get him and head home. you will survive. it is VERY hard. but it also builds trust in him...mommy drops him off but mommy also ALWAYS comes back. and it does get easier, i promise. the first time, the second time are hard....

    that said, i havent done it yet nor do i want to so dont feel bad if you want to wait a few more months...((hugs))

  2. Wow, that is a huge church! I don't know about your church, but that the one we've been visiting (we're in the middle of changing churches...long story) the nursery staff is all trained and they've had background checks. I just trust them and they have been great. I've also left her in the nursery at MOPS (mothers of preschoolers...same kind of staff) and had no problems. These places both have pagers and page you if there is a problem. That helps me feel a lot better! You can always give them your cell number if there are no pagers.

    I can understand your anxiety, but think of it this way. Do you want Cooper to have never stayed with anybody else when he's 4 years old? Of course not. So start him (and yourself!) early to help you both adjust to the idea. Of course, only do it if you feel comfortable though.

    Btw, thanks for your post on my blog. :) I totally understand about BFing not working out for you guys, and I think too many BFing moms are judgemental of those who don't BF. But thanks for sticking up for moms who do BF. :) I'm glad you and Cooper were able to have the experience even just a little bit!

  3. we've been taking our son to church since he was a week old. he stays with us during mass. he is so good in church it's awesome. he feels the present of God and smiles all the time. he loves to look at the stain glass windows and hear the music.
    it is a different experience to take our son to church than before. however, i wouldn't have it any other way. Also, you need to start young to teach them good behaviors in church. why not start now.

    i know of a Priest that loves with kids cry during Mass. He says it's their way of praising God.

  4. Jen - this is not an answer to your question but I thought I would admit that I am WAY crazy about this as well and Owen is 2. I have never left him with a stranger - friends (well one friend) and family yes but I have not taken that leap and left him with a stranger. He is fine and never gets upset or even notices when I leave him at Grandma's house. Do whatever you feel is right for you.

  5. I say--try having him in church with you first. He may do better than you expected! My babies like the music a lot and a few baby noises here or there aren't bad. Do you have a mom's room or nursing mother's room with a TV feed of the service? Often when my babe got fussy or noisy, I'd go in there to catch the sermon.

    When you do decide to try the nursery (I do w/ my kids at 6-8 months) they should let you stay with him for a while--see how the nursery operates, see him interact with the other kids and workers. You'll feel better actually leaving him after you do that.

    Bottom what you're comfortable with! But you're right, there's nothing like worshipping with an assembly!

  6. I don't go to church so I can't answer your question exactly...but, you can call me crazy too because I have yet to leave my daughter with a stranger! I have family in town and live with my mom too so there's usually someone around to watch her if I have to go out without her. And if there's no one around to watch her? I just won't go!
    So I'm not the best person to answer your question, but at least know you are not alone in your craziness!