Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Paranoia

I had 2 contractions during my morning NST yesterday and of course I got all panicky. Instantly my mind goes to this is the beginning of the end. I know Cooper is in the viability stage but I at least want to get to 28 weeks. At 28 weeks the survival rate is 95% and chance of long-term disability drops down to 10%. Then you begin to feel all this aches and pains AND again I go to my uterus is re-rupturing. This is it...

I've been here 20 days and I now see why you could lose your mind being in the hospital for long stretches. I have 50 days left and I want all 50 days whether I'll be crazy or not..

My doc and I had a funny convo yesterday about how your mind will run away from you here and that every ache and pain is amplified by a million. My paranoia comes from the fact that I don't want to miss a thing like maybe "that" pain means something...ya know? Anyways, my doc wasn't concerned about the 2 contractions yesterday b/c Cooper is growing so much right now that everyone has contractions at this stage of pregnancy. I've never been this pregnant before so how am I supposed to know all of these things? My doc said that he'll only be worried if I have 3 or more an hour and if it becomes a consistent thing. So, I had no contractions last night or this morning...which helps me to rope in some of my sanity :)

9 comments:

  1. Jen, sending prayers for peace and relaxation. *hugs*

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  2. I'm glad they stopped. Don't make me worry!

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  3. Ahhhhh - you had me worried with the first part of your post! Contractions at this stage ARE pretty normal though... not that that makes it any less terrifying for you.

    Relax, girl... that's what you are there for.

    Love you Cooper!

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  4. Oh Jen I can not imagine how you must have panicked and I am just as relieved too. Keeping you peaceful in our prayers! Lots of hugs! :)

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  5. You can do it!!! Hang in there!!! I thought you would like some mindless fun. A fellow teacher at school hooked me on this site: http://ferryhalim.com/orisinal

    Thinking of you and Mr. Cooper everyday. ((HUGS))

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  6. Aren't those braxton hicks? I had those all the time!

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  7. "Contractions" that word can just strike fear in any mommy's heart, I've been there too and hearing normal doesn't always help. Don't go where I did and think the nothing about this is normal thought. Breathe deep and put your brain somewhere else (easier said then done with being in the hospital I know) I wish you and little guy nothing but Peaceful days and daydreams, and happy distractions (books, and really bad daytime tv) Don't worry you can make it 50 days longer and still be sane, you have us all to vent to, and that sweet little face to dream of.

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  8. I am glad all is ok with you and cooper.

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  9. Good Luck to you. I am praying for you and your sweet baby. Hang in there and enjoy. You can make it. Good luck

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