Hypotonia

I expected some delays with Cooper being born 9 weeks early and I've gotten used to figuring out his adjusted age milestones. I read my weekly milestone article delivered in my inbox with anticipation and trepidation. It only turned into trepidation over the last couple of months or so though...as I read what he should be doing by his adjusted age and my heart would drop at the realization that he was doing NONE of what babies his (adjusted) age should be doing...


Cooper has a bestfriend that was born on January 5, 2010 so 3 days after Cooper's due date. I was using this friend as kind of a guide as to where Cooper should be...I know kids reach their milestones at different rates but my heart would break as each week I would watch this baby doing cartwheels around Coop. I would tell myself that Coop would just get there eventually...Now, looking back if being honest with myself, Coop has only rolled from tummy to back a handful of times, only rolled from back to tummy once, he is no where in the proximity of sitting up, he bears NO weight on his legs, he doesn't transfer toys from one hand to another...the list goes on and on of our developmental delays...I have a joke that I tell myself "well, there isn't a question on a college application that asks when you starting walking..."

Coop has been going to a physical therapist once a week for a little over a month now. She expressed some concerns to me last week about Cooper being hypotonic which means he has low muscle tone so I immediately made an appointment with his ped being the neurotic, I mean proactive mother that I am...and, he agreed with her diagnosis. He was mostly alarmed at the fact that Cooper won't bear any weight on his legs with his actually comment being "even newborns put up resistance when their feet are placed on the floor...." but Coop just buckles to his knees.

We go to the neurologist this Wednesday to figure out what is causing the hypotonia as the actual diagnosis could mean a variety of things. I've actually stopped looking at the diagnosises for now because I'm going to start having a panic attack...Mostly from what I've read is that hypotonia is normally lumped into two different diagnosises: either Cerebral Palsy if they think the disconnect lies in the brain or Muscular Dystrophy if they think the disconnect lies in the muscles. Again, because the diagnosis of hypotonia just means low muscle tone it could be something small or something big. I'm praying wholeheartedly for the something small as any parent would I imagine...

I do know one thing for certain as a mother with a child that (most likely just waiting on severity) has a disability is that my dreams for him and his life remain the same. I joke with family and friends that I want him to play football for UGA but in all seriousness, I just want him to be happy. It will be my dying goal to achieve that happy for him and teach him to be happy just for the simple fact of being alive.

If you could just pray for the something small diagnosis or better yet (because God can do all things!) that Cooper's body be cured of whatever this is...

So, I want to end this with a picture of my love...of the smile that warms my heart everytime no matter what is going on....